A Cup of Tea With Death
by Tennyo
Summary: The sailor scouts meet death! muahahahha!


Title: A Cup of Tea With Death Author: Tennyo Rated: PG Disclaimer: insert usual disclaimers. [this just seems so much easier doesn't it?! hehehhee]  
  
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"Eeek! You almost fried my hair pea-brain! Take this nega-trash!" cried Sailor Moon.  
  
"Moon. Princess. Halation!" yelled Moon as she dusted the. this time indescribable. youma into dust.  
  
"Are you alright Sailor Moon?" said Jupiter's concerned voice.  
  
"Yeah! That youma almost fried your skull!" cried Venus.  
  
"You should be more careful you klutz! I don't know how you're still here, considering that you always ACCIDENTALLY dodge the attacks!" said Mars.  
  
"Humph! How can you say such a thing about me?! I'm Eternal Sailor Moon! Defender of love and justice! I protect the innocent from evil! -Just so you know, those dodges are SKILLED ones, it takes a LONG time to master the art of dodging and making it LOOK like-"  
  
"Silence!" Everyone turns around to sees this black figure clutching a tall glaive with a black cape and seemingly no face. Dark shadows appear to be emitted from this dark figure, giving it a creepy outlook.  
  
"ooOoo.. spOoky!" says Sailor Moon with her big cheeks and wiggling fingers beside them and bulgy eyes.  
  
"Hush meatball head! That's Death over there!" whispered Mars "you know. the being that can make you go bye-bye in less that a nano-second!"  
  
"ahh.. Death sChmeth, humph! We've all seen creepier things than that. Beryl for example, yuck. how much more cleavage can she show anyways?!"  
  
"Eh-hem!"  
  
"Well I for one, would like to speak to this Death, we need to have a nice discussion concerning the lives on the Senshi. How on earth are people supposed to survive if we aren't around?! I, the champion of justice, am going to have a little bit of an argument with creepazoid over there!" said Sailor Moon with steam practically coming out of her ears.  
  
"Uh-oh" The dark figure starts floating away, trying to go unnoticed.  
  
"HEY YOU! Come back here! I need to have a talk with you!" cried an outraged Sailor Moon.  
  
"Aww damn." Death mutters with his head hung low. "Very well, you would like to talk? But in order for that to happen, you must play me in a game of chess!"  
  
"Err. well." Mercury gave her a determined nod. "You're on!"  
  
"Hmm. very well, you must come to my home for it is very boring there at times.. *sigh*..", says Death in a longing voice. "Behold! My dark dwelling of death! MuahAhaha!" says Death as he swings his glaive and dark mists appear out of an oval opening.  
  
"You want us to go through THAT?! Eww! Go hire a maid!" says Sailormoon as she squeezes her nose with her thumb and index finger while she waves the other hand at the dust.  
  
Giving her a stern look, Death pounds his glaive onto the earth and commands, "ENTER!"  
  
"Eesh! I was just kidding!" says Sailormoon as she and the rest of the Inner Senshi enter the dark void.  
  
The "furniture" was made up of more mysterious dark mists and a black pool is at the center of the endless room.  
  
"Welcome to my humble abode! I do take pride in my decorating! . Please, have a seat," said Death with a smile on his face, though the senshi wondered how that could happen if he didn't have a face. hmm.. Death waved his hand and six comfy chairs appeared. One chess table was set in between two chairs facing each other.  
  
"Now, make yourselves comfortable, and let the games begin!" says Death in an overly exciting voice.  
  
'Woah, must be REALLY boring down here, spending all of eternity just sitting here in the lurking black mist. doing absolutely nothing.' thought Sailormoon.  
  
"First, the conditions," said Death in an evil and snide voice "if you lose, you will spend all of eternity in here! Muahahahaha!"  
  
"And if we win?" questioned Sailormoon.  
  
"Ha! No one can beat me! I've been practicing this game ever since it was invented in the sixth century! Hmph! I doubt you can beat 1500 years of experience!" Sailor Moon covered a side of her mouth with her right hand as she whispered to Sailor Venus, "What a loser! He needs to get a life!" Sailor Moon snickered as Sailor Mercury elbowed her, proving that Sailor Moon's "whisper" was obviously too loud, "He doesn't have one in the first place remember?!"  
  
*sweat drop* ". oh yeah" whispered Sailor Moon, her voice defeated.  
  
Suddenly, Venus perked up. "So! Where's Hades? Isn't he supposed to be down here somewhere?" Mercury nudged her and whispered "Psst..! Wrong mythology!" ". oh yeah"  
  
"EH HEM! I see that we're now quite finished! Sailor Moon, if you would please join me?" said Death in a command rather than a question.  
  
"No way! Hehe, go Sailor Mercury!" said Sailormoon as she pushed Mercury forward towards the irky chess table. She gave death an evil grin, "We never agreed that I was going to play! My friend and companion, Sailor Mercury, will take my place," said Sailor Moon as a matter of factly.  
  
"NONSENSE! You're the one that wants to talk to me, so therefore, as part of the deal, you should play!" complained Death as he gave her what looked like an evil glare.  
  
Suddenly Sailor Moon whipped out her Moon Scepter out of her space pocket and threateningly aimed it towards Death. "Care to repeat that?" said Moon as she gave him a challenging stare that broke no argument.  
  
'Hmm. that was. weird..' thought Moon as she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration and in deep thought.  
  
"ehh .. err.. ok! So Mercury is going to play eh? Ha! No problem! Only a slight bit more challenging than playing the Moon brat!" said Death in a too proud of a voice. Mercury raised an eyebrow, as did every other member of the senshi. He obviously didn't know whom he was dealing with- ONLY one of the smartest people in the universe! If not THE smartest!  
  
'LoOooOsErRr.' thought every senshi that was present in a singsong voice. 'He's dead.' Thought the senshi as all of them giggled, then, reminding themselves of Mercury's lesson. 'Oh yeah.'  
  
_______________________________________________________________ ::Hours later::  
  
After what seemed like 3 hours, the game was still nowhere near ending. The senshi watched the seemingly never-ending game through tired eyes. Mercury stifled a yawn and politely covered her mouth as Death was concentrating on his second move of the entire game.  
  
Finally, the usually calm girl lost all her patience. "STUPID! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO MAKE A FRIGGIN MOVE?!! HURRY UP ALREADY! I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER!!!!"  
  
Death looked up in shock, just when he was about to place his bony fingers on the black knight. "Now look what you made me do! I forgot my plan!" Mercury banged her head on the table as she looked down at the murky fog in frustration. The rest of the senshi groaned and gave a huge sigh. They knew the anticipated move would take another couple of hours.  
  
::Another Hours later::  
  
Death finally succeeded in making his third move of the game. After a couple more hours of this nonsense, the great princess of the moon was fed up.  
  
"Look *genius*, if you don't hurry it up, I'm gonna fry you to moon dust!" cried Moon in a frustrated tone.  
  
"All right, all right! Geez! You mortals don't have any patience! You'd think living a thousand years would provide that!" All the senshi glared at him and threw threatening glances.  
  
Just then, Moon thought of the reason why something was nagging at her brain so much. 'Woah. Death must be really, really stupid. Ha! I was wondering why my threats worked! That stupid idiot must have been a mortal a long time ago, otherwise he wouldn't have feared my scepter! Hmm. either he's really stupid, or something really funny is going on.' Sailor Moon glanced at the still never ending game, seeing Death enraptured and obviously deeply concentrated on the game and his next move. She could almost see sweat pouring down his face [A.N. don't ask how. heh heh. *sweat drop*] 'Yep. he must be really stupid.. didn't he say he has 1500 years of experience? Hmm, I guess that doesn't count when he probably played by himself, haha! I find myself saying loser a lot here..'  
  
__________________________________________________  
  
::Many, many, many, many hours later::  
  
"Aha! Checkmate!" cried Mercury as she gave a triumphant grin. She jumped up excitedly, almost knocking the table and chair over in the process. As she stood up, she stretched and many of her bones started to crack. After all, sitting there for a whole 13 hours can be very tiring.  
  
Death looked up in shock (yet again). "But. but. that's impossible! I've been practicing for centuries.. for millenniums! This isn't fair! You cheated didn't you?!" cried out Death as he started sobbing. " *SOB~sniff* I tried so hard for years!. *sniffles* it's not fair! [Insert baby crying]"  
  
All the senshi looked up from their slumber to see what the commotion was about. Seeing that Mercury was up with a smile on her face and er Death crying his heart out, they all guessed that she had won. (Well, duh!) Sailor Moon quickly went to where Death was seated and started patting his back and talking to him as if he were a child. "There, there, it's ok. Shh. everything's going to be ok. I'm sure you can find other people to force them into 13 hours of complete boredom and driving them insane until there is no end-" Death looked at her sharply as his tears ceased. "Uh, I mean, 13 pleasant hours in this delightful place, doing exciting things!" Death gave her a huge smile and a hug. (Don't ask me how it's possible ok?! It just is!) Moon, obviously shocked for a moment there, -after all, it's not everyday you get to hug Death- and returned the gesture. Remembering she had better things to do than just stand around here in another dimension, she pulled away from Death and said in a business like manner, "Hmm. I believe we do have a few things to discuss don't we?" Death sighed, "Yes, yes, I believe we do. So what is it that you would like to discuss?" said Death as he swung his arm and two armchairs appeared with a comfy couch seated for four, along with six steaming cups of tea appeared on the coffee table in the middle of the chairs.  
  
Sitting down on the armchair that is facing the other one that Death is occupying, Sailor Moon began, "Well, I believe that being the champions of love and justice, not to mention the only defense this world has, I think you should open your eyes and see that we can't die. I mean, your several attempts have obviously failed so I think you should give up! Face it, we've died 2 times already and several more near death situations. And who knows how many more times we will "die" in the future. We put our lives on the line each time we fight a youma and enough is enough," said Sailor Moon as she reached toward the coffee table and sipped her cup of tea.  
  
"So uh. what're you trying to say?" said Death as his bony fingers reached for his cup of tea also.  
  
'Oye, this guy is really clueless'  
  
Losing her patience, Sailor Moon stood up and began yelling, "What I'm trying to say is that if we die one more time, I'm gonna come down here again and make sure you get proper treatment for these situations! I won't have it any longer! We need to save the world dammit! And you can't interfere!" cried Sailor Moon as she slammed her hand onto the coffee table, causing Death to jump. All the senshi simultaneously picked up their tea and each sipped it at the same time while nodding their heads.  
  
"Mm hmm, I correspond with her decision" nodded Mercury  
  
"Hai, we should definitely stop dying! The world depends on us!" agreed Jupiter  
  
"Right! Enough of this nonsense! We need to live dammit!" argued Mars  
  
"Just face it! We're un-killable!" said Venus  
  
Suddenly, Death stood up as well, "Well what makes you think I have anything to do with it?! What? Just because my name's Death? Hey so what if my mother's name was Fatality and so what if my father's name was Mortality? That doesn't mean I had anything to do with your deaths in the Silver Millennium or in the 20th century!" All the senshi crossed their arms, raised their eyebrows and looked at him skeptically.  
  
"Uh huh.yea.sure."  
  
Quickly losing her patience, Jupiter called out. "If that's the way you want it, then fine!"  
  
"JUPITER.. THUNDER..DRAG-"  
  
"Wait, wait, wait! I'll accede!" cried Death as he put his arms over his face and cowered back in fear. With that comment, Jupiter gave a pleased smile and her lighting quickly dissipated. "Geez, a little bit aggressive are we?" muttered Death. Jupiter heard that comment and her hands started tingling with lightning again. "Ok! Ok! Sorry!" cried Death.  
  
Sailor Moon gave her a pleased smile, as did every senshi except Mercury, who obviously disapproved of that tactic.  
  
"Eh hem, I thought we could've handled this in a more pleasant manner"  
  
"Hey, threatening transactions are always much more quicker than the old fashioned negotiation" replied Jupiter  
  
"Hmm. that did work quite well, I suppose you're correct" replied Mercury "Though seeing Death himself be electrocuted would've been relatively interesting."  
  
"I'm glad you agree with me on that one!" said Jupiter as she smacked Mercury on her back in good nature. Mercury, not expecting that one, fell forward and tumbled into Death.  
  
"Gyah!! Eek! Go away, go away!" screamed Mercury. The other senshi were giggling, amused that the cool, collected Mercury would act like that. "Hey *genius*, you're the one that's on top of ME! So get off!" yelled Death as he pushed Mercury off of him.  
  
"Eh hem, now then. Now that that little.display is quite finished, I supposed we do come in an agreement don't we?" said Moon in her business- like manner. Death looked almost to disagree and was opening his mouth to say so when the four other senshi surrounded him and their respected elements started emerging in their hands. Seeing that he was surrounded and obviously had to give in, he concurred, "All right, I suppose so. you people can be so violent!" whined Death.  
  
"Wrong answer buddy" said Moon as all the four inner senshi launched their attacks on him.  
  
"Mars. Celestial. Fire. Surround!"  
  
"Venus Crescent Beam. Smash!"  
  
"Shine. Aqua. Illusion!"  
  
"Sparkling Wide. Pressure!"  
  
In a couple of minutes, after all the attacks sizzled down, a very burnt and toasted Death was displayed. "I.I. gi-. give up, you won't die anymore.." whimpered Death in a small voice that could've easily been mistaken for that of an old man's. "Good! Now that wasn't so hard was it? I'm glad you can see it my way!" beamed Sailor Moon. "But of course, we will eventually have to die when the next generation has to take over. but you won't have to worry about that for about 2 or 3 millenniums!" cried Sailor Moon as she smacked him on the back, overjoyed. Death twitched and coughed as black smoke came out of his mouth and ashes started falling from his cloak.  
  
"Sure, sure" coughed Death, "no problem." The senshi looked down at him, almost feeling pity towards him as they saw his crumpled up body and his ashen figure. "Aww. I kind of feel sorry for him. Maybe I should heal him?" questioned Sailor Moon. "No! No! .I'll be fine! Don't worry about it [cough cough], here," said Death as he opened a portal that led to the darkness of the park, "you can go now! Any minute! Step through that portal! Come on I don't have all day! That portal only lasts for 13 minutes!"  
  
Sailor Moon looked back at him, her face uncertain. A bit nervous that the senshi might stay for all of eternity here with him he quickly explained, "I'll be just fine! It's not THAT lonely down here! Go on! Go!" cried Death as he started to get up and shove the senshi out the portal.  
  
"All right, all right! We see that we're not wanted here! Humph! So this is all the thanks we get for spending painful, torturous hours with you?! Fine! I see how it is! We're leaving!" stated Sailor Moon as she and the senshi stepped through the portal.  
  
Once they were back in the park, a voice called up to them.  
  
"OMG! Sailor Moon! Is it really you?! I'm your biggest fan! Look! I have all of your posters, mangas, and all kinds of accessories! I even have your life-sized doll! Complete with the Inner and Outer senshi. And also a dashing cool Tuxedo Kamen! OMG! Can I PLEASE have your autograph?!" cried Umino as he pulled out all the things from nowhere.  
  
'Probably from that little geeky pocket that he stuffs all his pens and scientific calculators or whatever.' thought all the senshi.  
  
"Er. umm," said Sailor Moon as she started fidgeting and her right eye started twitching.  
  
"Funny! You're just like my classmate, Usagi! She does that all the time when I'm around! [pause] Wow! You're so cool! Can I please take a picture with you?!" said Umino as he pulled out a pink Sailor Moon camera out of nowhere.  
  
"Er. umm. that's ok, I have a lot of more evil to fight! So maybe next time!" cried Sailor Moon. 'Maybe never!' she thought. Then, an idea popped into her little meatball brain when she glanced at the still opened portal and back at Umino. 'Hmm. I did kinda feel sorry for Death back there, I mean, spending all of eternity alone?! No wonder he's so. er never mind, not the point. Hmm, maybe. perhaps a certain Umino would like to join him for eternity.' The senshi caught Sailor Moon's look and knew what she was thinking. Immediately, five evil smirks appeared as all the senshi looked at the poor boy standing in front of them, still rambling on about how great Sailor Moon is. "So! You wanna take a picture with us! No problem! Just step in through that dark space over there and it'll take you right to our photo studio!" exclaimed Venus. Leave it to her to come up with a stupid con line. Umino looked uncertain for a minute, but brightened up as he thought this was the chance of a lifetime! He got to be alone with the senshi! "Ok!" he cried. Then he stepped in front of the portal. The senshi shoved him inside and said, "We'll be back in a moment!" He nodded and looked straight ahead and saw a black figure lying on the floor. "Hey! Who are you? Anyway, it's not important. Aren't the senshi so cool?! Especially Sailor Moon! She's the greatest!" rambled Umino as he started pulling out all of his Sailor Moon merchandise out of nowhere. "See! I have her doll, cards, pen, pencil, calculator, mug, calendar, wallpaper, notebook, chair, bedspread." Death tuned him out as his face paled and he let out an agonizing scream just as the portal is about to close. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~Fin~  
  
hey ppl! This is my first shot at a fan-fic, thought I would make it interesting by giving Death a personality. Anywayz. did you enjoy it??!! It's supposed to be a funny story.  
  
[crickets chirping]  
  
ok then!  
  
hm.. well.. Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Insults? Anything? heh heh.. Email nice!  
  
tennyo_chan@yahoo.com  
  
Hope to see you soon with another fan fic! Ja! 


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